Author: Brian DonCarlos

Bret Bielema Discusses His Fear of Speed

By now, most have heard of Bret Bielema’s distaste for the Hurry-Up No-Huddle offense, and have seen his willingness to co-opt any and every story into his argument, no matter how ill-advised that may be. However, Bielema proved (painfully) last season that his slow heat-death offense is more than capable of keeping up with HUNH teams. So why so […]

‘Gaters Gonna ‘Gate: The Quesadilla-That-Is-Also-a-Chalupa Taco w/ Santo Beef

It started out innocently enough. Just a cook with a dream and a portmanteau, somewhere in a test kitchen, devising a way to make the world a better place. But the Man? The Man had a different idea. The man took this idea, this edible Prometheus’ Fire, and decided that this gift isn’t for the world, […]

Reports of WDM’s in Waco Continue to Escalate Fears

WACO, TX- Tensions arose throughout the Big 12 on Thursday after posturing from the Baylor Bears, who claim to be continuing to develop a Weapon of Destructive Mass (WDM). Head coach Art Briles first unveiled plans for the WDM in an ultimately doomed offensive against Michigan State in January, where he demonstrated the potentially formidable power of the […]

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